


two hands longing for each other's warmth

by answersinahauntedclub



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sleeping Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/answersinahauntedclub/pseuds/answersinahauntedclub
Summary: “You didn’t answer my question,” Anakin only said. “What would you do if I left?”Obi-Wan couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself up by the elbows, sat up so that he was only breaths away from Anakin’s face. “I told you to stop asking me that.”Anakin’s gaze didn’t falter. “And I’m still asking,” he replied softly. Obi-Wan thought Anakin would pull away, but with a quiet thrill and pang, Obi-Wan realized that Anakin had actually come closer, his eyes intense and dark under the dim light.Obi-Wan had always thought that Anakin’s eyes were a bright blue—now he wondered if perhaps they were actually a deeper shade, one that had nothing to do with the fact that this room was dark.“And why are you still asking?” Obi-Wan asked. He found his own voice hoarse, quiet. Anakin’s hand knocked against his again—Anakin’s hand was warm.Anakin paused. His eyes flicked up, down Obi-Wan’s face. Obi-Wan saw the way they lingered, the way they dipped.And then Anakin looked back up at Obi-Wan. “I think you know,” he said.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 28
Kudos: 284





	two hands longing for each other's warmth

There was little light out by the time Obi-Wan finally walked out of the Temple. Finally walked out to Anakin, who he found standing at the top of the steps, his hand still curled tightly around the silka beads. And for a terrible, terrifying second, Obi-Wan watched Anakin sway a little at those steps, wondered if Anakin would fall over or even worse, just walk down, right after his apprentice.

And despite everything—despite the grief and shame burning in Obi-Wan’s chest, he felt the briefest flare of panic at what would happen if Anakin _did_ follow. If Anakin walked away right here and now, left as well…

But then Anakin turned around.

“She’s gone,” Anakin said. Two words: simple, short, numb. He cast his eyes down to the silka beads still clutched in his chest, and Obi-Wan saw the way Anakin’s lips moved, tried to form the next few words. “She…” He blinked a few times, his eyes unseeing as he moved his head up towards Obi-Wan. “She…” His breath caught, and then Obi-Wan was walking forward, catching Anakin’s head on his shoulder.

When the trembling started, Obi-Wan could only blink his eyes up to the now steadily-darkening sky. The light was slowly seeping away, giving way to the bruise-like shadows and clouds that blocked out even the brightest of stars.

And Obi-Wan held Anakin.

\--

Neither man spoke when they reached Obi-Wan’s quarters. No words were needed. And if anyone had seen them, well. Obi-Wan knew they wouldn’t dare say a word, not when the grief seemed to suffocate the entire Temple.

Anakin slipped under the covers first. He rolled over on his side toward the wall, away from Obi-Wan. His eyes were closed, but Obi-Wan knew Anakin wasn’t sleeping.

Obi-Wan slipped in after him, rolled over so he would be facing Anakin’s back.

He imagined himself reaching forward, brushing his hand around Anakin’s waist. Dragging him back towards him, resting his forehead against Anakin’s shoulder.

He didn’t.

Obi-Wan rolled back over on his other side, away from Anakin.

Closed his eyes.

He waited for Anakin’s breaths to deepen, for his former apprentice to finally drift off to sleep.

Instead, he heard a whisper: “What would you do if I left?”

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He felt Anakin roll over to him, felt Anakin’s warm breath on the back of his neck as Anakin said, “If I left—”

“Are you thinking of leaving?” Obi-Wan asked. He kept his eyes on the slits of white light from the upturned shades. He wasn’t sure what he would do or say if he turned around right now and looked at Anakin’s expression.

“I’m thinking of what you would do if I left,” Anakin replied.

Obi-Wan tried to imagine walking through a ship without Anakin’s presence. Stepping on a battlefield without Anakin’s cocky smirk at his side. Coming back to the Temple without Anakin’s relieved smile, Anakin’s shining eyes, Anakin’s warmth.

He found that he couldn’t.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin’s voice was soft. “I know you’re awake.”

“Why would you ask me this?” Obi-Wan asked, keeping his eyes on the shifting white light. He clutched at the underside of the pillow.

A pause.

And then, softer, his breath still tickling Obi-Wan’s neck, Anakin said, “She said that she knew. That I wanted to leave.”

Obi-Wan felt two things at once: first, the stab of pain at knowing that Anakin wasn’t going to be able to say Ahsoka’s name not yet, not now—and the second, that same flare of panic that Obi-Wan had felt just a few hours ago, when he thought that Anakin was truly going to walk down the steps.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help himself. He whirled around to Anakin, almost crashed his forehead right against Anakin’s own, because that was how close they were. In the dim light, Obi-Wan could make out the shine of Anakin’s eyes, the curve of his lips.

“Would you?” Obi-Wan asked, ignoring the cold that grew at the pit of his stomach. The stutter in his chest at his next words. “Would you leave?” _Would you leave me?_

Anakin shifted against the mattress, his hand knocking briefly against Obi-Wan’s. “Your hands are cold,” was Anakin’s only comment.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, hating the edge in his voice. “Would you leave?”

Anakin lifted his eyes to Obi-Wan. “What would you do if I did?”

 _Burn_ , Obi-Wan thought.

“You shouldn’t have asked me this,” Obi-Wan said, starting to pull away.

But Anakin wasn’t done. “Why?”

Obi-Wan only rolled back over on his side, that ice in his stomach reaching up to his chest, traveling up and down the rest of his limbs. He forced his eyes shut to block out the faint white light, the knowledge that Anakin was still watching his back.

For a moment, Obi-Wan thought that Anakin had given up—that was how quiet he was.

But then he felt Anakin shift closer to him. “If I left…” His voice was little more than a dull whisper. Obi-Wan could feel his heat right at the side of his neck. The creak of the mattress and the moving heat told Obi-Wan that Anakin had propped himself up. “If I left—”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Obi-Wan said. He opened his eyes, found Anakin looking down at him. He was propped up on an elbow, his hair falling past his forehead. Anakin’s eyes were dark, and not just because of the dim light. Obi-Wan swallowed. “I mean it, Anakin.”

“Why?” Anakin asked. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t answer mine,” Obi-Wan replied. He resisted the urge to sit up, shake Anakin by the shoulders. “ _Would_ you leave?”

Anakin pressed his lips together. He turned away, and for a second, Obi-Wan couldn’t see his face. Obi-Wan wondered if he would ever get an answer. Wondered if perhaps the conversation would end right here, and Anakin would go back to bed, and they would both fall asleep and pretend they hadn’t said anything the next morning.

But then Anakin looked back down at Obi-Wan. “Maybe,” he said quietly. “Under the right circumstances.”

Obi-Wan wanted the conversation to end. He didn’t want any more of this pain, this thin ice that threatened to freeze him over completely. But still, he couldn’t keep himself from asking, “And what circumstances would that be?”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Anakin only said. “What would you do if I left?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself up by the elbows, sat up so that he was only breaths away from Anakin’s face. “I told you to stop asking me that.”

Anakin’s gaze didn’t falter. “And I’m still asking,” he replied softly. Obi-Wan thought Anakin would pull away, but with a quiet thrill and pang, Obi-Wan realized that Anakin had actually come closer, his eyes intense and dark under the dim light. Obi-Wan had always thought that Anakin’s eyes were a bright blue—now he wondered if perhaps they were actually a deeper shade, one that had nothing to do with the fact that this room was dark.

“And why are you still asking?” Obi-Wan asked. He found his own voice hoarse, quiet. Anakin’s hand knocked against his again—Anakin’s hand was warm.

Anakin paused. His eyes flicked up, down Obi-Wan’s face. Obi-Wan saw the way they lingered, the way they dipped.

And then Anakin looked back up at Obi-Wan. “I think you know,” he said.

Something broke then: the ice in Obi-Wan’s chest, the winding silence.

Obi-Wan pushed himself forward, found Anakin’s lips. He grabbed the front of Anakin’s shirt, tugged at him greedily, hungrily, the heat to his cold, flame to his ice. Anakin rocked forward, a hand pressed to Obi-Wan’s chest, pressing, pushing him back, back, and then Anakin was on top of him, his warm lips trailing from Obi-Wan’s mouth to his throat, leaving burns in his wake.

“I won’t leave you,” Anakin whispered against Obi-Wan’s throat. “Say you won’t leave me.”

“I won’t leave you,” Obi-Wan whispered back, felt the smile on Anakin’s lips as he dipped lower, down to his collarbone. “ _Anakin_ …” He blindly reached for Anakin’s shirt again, yanked him _up_ , so that he could actually catch Anakin’s lips again. He wanted Anakin’s focus _here_ —

Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s arm settle by his head as Obi-Wan pushed up, lightly bit Anakin’s bottom lip. Anakin let out a quiet hiss of air, maybe a laugh, and then Anakin was shoving Obi-Wan back down, his mouth open and hot and all _taking_. _Needing_ , as though Anakin was running out of air, and Obi-Wan was the last one who could supply it for him.

And Obi-Wan was more than willing to supply.

“Won’t leave you,” Anakin mumbled around Obi-Wan’s lips. “Won’t _ever_.”

A part of Obi-Wan—the still somewhat sensible part—whispered darkly of the dangerous promise in those words. Obi-Wan willingly shut that part out. He didn’t care, he decided. For this one instance, he didn’t care, because he realized that he needed Anakin too, just the way Anakin needed him—and right now, Obi-Wan could feel that need pressing against him, knew that his own was pressing against Anakin.

“Can I…?” Anakin was saying now, his hand skimming down Obi-Wan’s shirt, down to the waistband of his pants.

“Only if you…”

“No, only if _you_ —”

“Then yes,” Obi-Wan breathed. He found Anakin’s eyes, found that glint. _I would never leave him_ , Obi-Wan thought dully. “ _Yes_.”

\--

 _I would never leave him_ , Obi-Wan had thought as Anakin thrust into him, first gently, slowly. The knowledge made Obi-Wan’s head spin as he found Anakin’s eyes in the dim light. He wondered if that realization was obvious on his face—wondered if Anakin could hear and feel those thoughts.

And even if he did—

“I won’t ever leave you,” Anakin had whispered, his hands spanning across Obi-Wan’s abdomen, his chest, up to his shoulders. “ _Obi-Wan_ …”

And Obi-Wan had dragged Anakin back down to him, found open-mouthed kisses as Anakin gripped Obi-Wan’s hips hard enough to hurt.

 _I would never leave him_ , Obi-Wan thought as Anakin whispered his name again, again, again in his ear. A hot breath, a building cry. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if it was Anakin or himself who was making those sounds. He found that he didn’t necessarily care. All that was there was the two of them, hands and mouths and limbs and breaths getting tangled together in the dark room.

“I won’t leave you,” Obi-Wan whispered into the dark. He saw the light that reached Anakin’s eyes, felt the particularly hard thrust to know just what those words meant. “Won’t— _Anakin_ —” The rest of Obi-Wan’s promise was cut off by a groan as Anakin’s pace quickened. “ _Anakin_ …”

“I know you won’t,” Anakin whispered. He brought himself up on an elbow, reached down. Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s warm hand slide around his hardened cock, give it a few quick strokes. It was too much—too much at once, Anakin’s hand and Anakin inside him, and Anakin’s breaths and his whispers: “ _I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you_ …”

Obi-Wan couldn’t keep the soft groan from leaving his lips as the heat built and built up from below. He managed to find Anakin’s eyes again, saw that determined glint that— _fuck_ —

Obi-Wan came, his breath hitching and choking out Anakin’s name. He grabbed at Anakin’s shirt again, dragged him down, felt Anakin’s thrusts become erratic, losing its rhythm, heard Anakin’s cry a moment later. Felt warm, wet, but Obi-Wan wasn’t done—he wanted more, wanted more of Anakin, just wanted to keep him right here in this bed, in this room.

Anakin breathed hard, his forehead resting on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Master…” Anakin’s voice was a hoarse whisper. A light brush of numb lips against Obi-Wan’s throat, his collarbone.

“I know,” Obi-Wan murmured. He ran his hand through Anakin’s curls, let Anakin fall back to his side. Anakin’s arms had fallen on top of Obi-Wan’s chest, but his eyes were still open, still awake as Obi-Wan slowly rolled over on his side to face him.

Obi-Wan lifted a hand to brush back a strand of hair that had fallen down the side of Anakin’s face. He relished in the way Anakin shivered under his touch, the way Anakin’s lips parted as Obi-Wan’s thumb swept down Anakin’s cheek and to his chin.

Obi-Wan smiled. “I won’t lose you,” he whispered, and just as Anakin’s head ducked forward, Obi-Wan pushed his hand away—not back to himself, but down.

Anakin’s eyes fluttered closed as Obi-Wan swept his hand over the still half-hard cock. A low moan. “Obi-Wan—”

“Do you believe me?” Obi-Wan whispered. The blankets rustled as Obi-Wan positioned himself closer to Anakin to get a better grip. “Do you believe me when I say—”

“I believe you,” Anakin whispered. Whimpered. “Obi-Wan—” Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s hand reach for his, try to force Obi-Wan’s hand, but Obi-Wan drew back, heard Anakin’s little gasp of frustration and need.

“Not yet,” Obi-Wan whispered, brushing his lips over Anakin’s, a ghost of a touch. He pushed back the blankets, kicked them towards the end so that only cool air touched their legs. Obi-Wan saw Anakin’s cock twitch, already leaking just a little, already so _ready_ , and again, there was that brief flash of _this is dangerous_ , but Anakin was already leaning forward, already looking for him—

“Never patient, are you?” Obi-Wan said, and then he lowered himself down, gently set his leg around Anakin’s hip—

Anakin let out a quiet gasp as they rocked together, as Obi-Wan found the entrance and pushed, saw Anakin bite his bottom lip and duck his head down to see—

“Eyes on me,” Obi-Wan said, lifting Anakin’s chin with a finger. He felt that shiver run over Anakin again, saw Anakin’s eyes lose focus for a moment as Obi-Wan pushed again, felt Anakin.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin whispered. Shuddered. His lips parted, his breath hot on Obi-Wan’s hand. Obi-Wan swept his thumb past Anakin’s chin again, let Anakin’s lips catch his thumb in his mouth. Felt Anakin’s lips tug at his thumb, the light bite of teeth against his skin.

“Careful,” Obi-Wan murmured, reaching down. Reaching again for Anakin’s cock. Anakin groaned around Obi-Wan, his head ducking again, but Obi-Wan tilted his head back up. “What did I say about eyes?”

“On you,” Anakin mumbled. “Always on you.”

“That’s right,” Obi-Wan replied, giving Anakin’s cock a slow stroke. He let his thumb sit at the head, brush over there as he focused on the other part: still pushing into Anakin, feeling Anakin push back this time, feel him rock back and push forward because he _wanted_ , he _wanted so much_.

And Obi-Wan did too, he wanted and wanted and burned now, and he pumped himself in and closed his hand around Anakin’s cock—thrusting and stroking and pushing and feeling himself build again, feeling a bead of sweat roll down the side of his face and onto his shoulder. Anakin ducked his head forward, and Obi-Wan felt his tongue sweep the bead of sweat away.

Obi-Wan would have mentioned something about sanitation, but he didn’t care. He found that oddly more arousing, found himself thrusting faster, stroking faster, felt rather than saw Anakin fall back in front of him. Anakin’s pupils were blown wide open, his jaw going slack as he was coming closer—Obi-Wan knew he was coming closer—

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathed. “Obi-Wan, I’m gonna—”

“I know,” Obi-Wan said through gritted teeth. “I know.” He grunted, his hips chasing Anakin’s. Anakin reached for him, and Obi-Wan felt warm hands grabbing at Obi-Wan’s bicep, his shoulder, trying so desperately hard to get a grip—

And then Anakin came with a shudder and a gasp and a name: “ _Obi-Wan_ —” and Obi-Wan went right along with him with a similar cry, only this time: “ _Anakin_ —”

For a moment, they could just lie there, listening and feeling each other’s hot breaths.

“Knew you wouldn’t leave me,” Anakin mumbled at last, his forehead leaning forward, bumping against Obi-Wan’s. “You wouldn’t…”

“I wouldn’t,” Obi-Wan agreed, still breathing heavily, still trying to remember how to properly form intelligent sentences. Realized that he couldn’t—realized that there was no eloquence needed for his next few words. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

Anakin sighed then, moved his head so that he was resting against Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I won’t either,” he mumbled into Obi-Wan’s skin. “I won’t ever leave.”

 _A dangerous promise_ , a small voice in Obi-Wan’s whispered. Protested.

“I know,” Obi-Wan replied.

\--

They showered with still kiss-numbed lips and lazy strokes of touch on each other’s skin. Hands got tangled in shampooed hair, soap- and water-slicked limbs.

 _I won’t leave you_ , they whispered, with nothing but the steam and the rushing water to blanket their touches, their voices, their promises. _I won’t leave you I won’t leave you I won’t leave you_ —

\--

And when Anakin burned, Obi-Wan burned with him.

 _I won’t leave you,_ Obi-Wan thought, his own still-flaming hand reaching for Anakin’s. He saw golden eyes instead of blue, but he saw that the hatred and the anger had faded, replaced only by a strange, haunting sadness that Obi-Wan knew was in his own.

 _I won’t leave you_ , Obi-Wan thought again as their burning hands entwined. Hands that Obi-Wan knew would slowly disintegrate into nothing more than charred flesh and ash and, if they were lucky, maybe their remains would turn into stars that wouldn’t be hidden by bruise-like shadows and clouds.

 _I won’t leave you_ , Obi-Wan thought. His whole body was numb with pain. He knew that Anakin’s was too, but he could have sworn their hands tightened around each other as the flames crept up them both.

And then, he heard Anakin’s voice, clear and ringing in his head: _I won’t leave you._

They burned.

**Author's Note:**

> :))))))
> 
> kudos & comments are greatly appreciated! i fully expect being yelled at. i therefore rest my life in your hands. i swear i’m capable of writing happy soft obikin but i wrote this while the power was out at my house, and i was very much in the mood to write TragedyTM instead.


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